MY ANGEL BABIES
A Little About My History
Before Juliana Rose was born, I suffered two pregnancy losses. My first loss was an ectopic pregnancy in January of 2001. I lost my baby, and my left fallopian tube was removed as well. I was unsure if I would ever be able to have another baby.
I got pregnant again in March of 2001. After many blood tests and sonograms, we were thrilled to find out that this was a uterine pregnancy! But by early May, we were devastated to learn that my baby's heart stopped, and I miscarried. As I did after my ectopic loss, I became very depressed and upset. Everything I did reminded me of wanting to be pregnant again, and wanting a healthy baby. I was in an unhealthy place, for I couldn't function in my everyday life without crying over my babies. I prayed and prayed, and then left it in God's hands.
I named my two angel babies Nicholas and Daniela.
I memorialized them by placing their names in the Book of Life in the Church of the Holy Innocents in Manhattan. It was very helpful to me to name them and memorialize them. Every Christmas since 2001, I have placed two angel ornaments on my tree to remember my Angel Babies. Every so often I take out my box of mementos that I have collected over the years to remember them. Personally, that has always been helpful to me. Recently, I discussed my losses with Juliana, and she talks about having a brother and sister in Heaven every once in a while. This works for us, although it may not work for everyone. I have moved on with my life, but will never forget my angels.
I have written a book Becoming a Mother, which I published in 2004. It is available by e-book and in print.
Click the picture of the book above to
My experience has led me in a direction in my life I would have never expected. I have completed my Masters in Counseling to counsel couples and families dealing with pregnancy loss, neonatal death, and infertility. My first marriage didn't survive all the ups and downs, and I got divorced in 2005. I remarried in 2007, and Paul is my soul-mate. Paul has an older son, Paulie, from a previous marriage.
We always discussed having another child together, and faced a year of infertility and treatments. Paul knew all about my history and has always been extremely supportive of my hopes, dreams, and fears. We were prepared for whatever God had in store for us. Well, we were shocked when we found out exactly what the plan was. Paul and I welcomed our third and fourth children, THE TWINS - Louis John and Anthony Vincent, in July of 2008!
Eventually I intend to update my book with my whole story. For now, Becoming a Mother details my trials and tribulations up until the middle of our infertility, before getting pregnant with our twins.
Paul and I have six children! God has blessed me with Juliana, my Earth Angel. She has a brother and sister in heaven, Nicholas and Daniela. Paul has a seventeen-year-old son, Paulie. And our twin boys, Louis and Anthony, complete our family!
My angel babies have been an inspiration for me
to help those who are suffering from these losses and to help raise Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness.
This section is in memory of my two Angel Babies, Nicholas and Daniela.
